” I will be the best friend of my child when I will get married”.
She said while stopping tears from falling down from her eyes. I kept mum. I wanted her to talk, to express how she was feeling. What is hurting her. Pondering “Will it be fine to step into her personal space”. But she didn’t give me much time to think about it and told me her story, the kind of bonding she has with her parents. What was that she wants from her life. Why was she crying. Puja told me about her life.
Her father was in army. And as he was in his office, strict, disciplined, he was the same Army Officer in his home. They were not allowed to laugh, play in the house. Her mother was also busy in kitty parties or social services. She was the only child of her parents and left alone to play with her dogs “Sharon” and “phobi”. Sharon was Lab and Phobi was golden retriever. She used to play with them a lot, love them and they also in return loved her a lot. Apart from this part her home was like a hostel or a jail. She was supposed to get up on time, have breakfast on time. She was not supposed to laugh or talk during meals. She had everything in her wardrobe. She was introduced to all types of new games and technology. But she wanted her mother, she wanted her father. Whenever she use to visit her friend Minni, her parents used to play such a lovely host to her. They were like friends. Playing, sharing, teaching, talking everything, Minni used to do with her parents. Minni was also a single child of her parents, but she never felt the need of a sibling. Her mother and Minni were the best of friends. She always wished for such an environment at her home. But her parents were like; children should just play and study. If parents will not be strict they will be ruined. She said she got everything but lost her childhood.
She was in class 9th and suddenly she was in pain, an unbearable pain, her teacher helped her and just told her to discuss about this with mother. What it this? Minni told her something which Aunty explained to her. She missed her mother. She wanted this to be explained by her mother. At home when she asked her mother she just avoided it. According to her there are few things which should not be discussed.
Puja was quiet for some time. She was thinking something. I didn’t disturb her. She continued than with her first love story.
He entered the class room, looking for a place to sit. He was a new admission. His father was transferred to Dehradoon. That day Minni was absent so he sat near her. She felt goose bumps for the first time in her life. A different feeling, his eyes were sleepy, big but with a twinkle. She lost herself in his eyes. They became friends and then best of friends. A different feeling she felt, but she had only Minni to share this with, not her mother. She was afraid and unknown how will her mother react to this.
There were many incidents, events in her life where she needed her mother, father badly. But they were not her friends but parents. She loved her parents but she wanted them to be her friends.
At home she never felt like home. It was like a hostel or jail for her. Most of the time the spent time with her friend Minni.
I now understood the reasons of the tears flowing down from her eyes. Who would not want a friend in the form of a mother or a father?
These days scenario is changing. Parents instead of being strict believe in giving more freedom to their children. They also hope at the same time that freedom given to them will make them more responsible. Parents try to understand today’s changes and trying to adopt with the changes.
I remember when my mother sent me first SMS. She wanted to say talk to me but instead typed “to kme “. I was not unable to understand and was also surprised to see message from her phone. I called her immediately and asked her what she typed. She said “Talk to me”. I felt tears in my eyes.
My father wonders and expresses his desire to learn to operate Laptop. He feels so happy to click his granddaughter pic from his phone we bought him. Whenever I login into skype to talk to my brother, parents are so happy.
My mother now wants me to buy some trendy clothes instead of old salwaar kameez. 🙂 .Likewise I try to learn from her how to make green chutney.
Well I believe that any relationship can exist only if the base of the relationship is friendship.
PS : This is for Kellogg’s Chocos ke saath ‘Khuljaye Bachpan’