I was sitting in the balcony, enjoying the drizzling and the moisture laden cool breeze touching my face and reading a book my all time favourite pastime. I tuned in to the radio and stopped at the station which was playing a song…
” Tere bina Zindagi se koi Shikwa to nahi,
tere bina Zindagi bhi lekin zindagi to nahi , zindagi to nahi”…
This song reminded me of somebody with whom I have lost connection long time back. I looked at the book in my hand ” The Monk who sold his ferrari”. I found it in the storeroom few days back while cleaning the store-room. He, my one time best friend or my life gifted me this with whom I am no more connected.
Logically or ideally I should have felt good, feeling spiritual owing to the beautiful rainy season. I should have felt peaceful owing to the cool breeze. I should have felt energetic owing to the green leaves looking more vibrant as they just bathed in water dropped from the clouds. But I was in some other state, the music and the book took me in to the flashback.
Few years back, this rain used to be as beautiful as it was today. But the only difference was “ME”. Old “ME” was more cheerful, bubbly then. The reason was “HIM”. This HIM and ME was a great WE at that time. We used to love each other’s company. I was ignorant about any thing called “World” and completely deeply in love with him. He was my day, he was my night. I had his picture in my cell, in front of my bed. He was the only one in this world who could bring a smile on my lips while tears were in my eyes. I was ready to sacrifice anything for him. I needed him for everything. He was the air I used to breathe. He was the food I used to eat. He was the world for me. I thought ME and HIM were meant to be together.
But fate had something else in store for me.
One day I saw somebody else’s hand in his hand. He took somebody else as his bride.
I felt as if my heart stopped beating. My hands and legs amputated. I was lost in the crowd. I pasted a smile on my face and started living. With the time I learnt to live without HIM. And now I have MOVED ON .That’s what he wanted to MOVE ON. I now have a life of my own. I have a future unknown but present is mine and I am living to make up for every moment I have lost.
But still sometimes I miss HIM like anything. Many things still reminds me of him. He is a connection missed badly some times.
He is only thing missed thing in my life. The line “tere bina koi shikwa to nahi” Suits perfectly.
I wish I could reconnect with him at some point of life again, the network type could be friendship this time.