I love being a “Behanji”


Being single till date, never having been proposed by  somebody on whom I had a crush, worries everybody who loves me . My friends and family (especially my MOM) ae on a mission to find out the reasons why I am still single. Everybody who knows me well wonders Why I am still single even after being such a wonderful girl – Why nobody has yet not proposed me.

[PS: Even I think so I am very cool, a very good girl, pretty even after having average features, experimemtal, fun loving , trying , traveller, reader, writer , can make good tea/coffee, now  has improved a lot on her cooking skills :P. Seems as if I am increasing my matimonial biodata each day. 😛 .But as matter of the fact, I am  happy being single, it’s just that people want me to see married. I don’t know what ladoo they will get, if I get married]

Anyways, so after so many debates,discussion all my friends compiled a list of reasons of my failure for not getting any marriage proposal. And a list of what I should do and what I should not do to get a good match. They gave my dressing sense rating 4 [Rating starts from 1 to 4 1 being the best]. My hair style rating 4. My footwears rating 4. So that means if i wear those skin hugging one piece , I am gonna get loads of proposal. I am still wondering how the clothes will change the person I am.

The list goes on like this.

N steps to get a marriage proposal 

  • Stop putting up Bindi , you look like married or Aunty.
    • My love for Bindi is well known. I love Bindi on forehead[I have wriiten forehead as if Bindi can be applied anywhere else also], and that big red color Bindi is what I many times want to use, but nobody let me do that. I still wonder . what’s wrong in Bindi. It looks so beautiful…
  • Stop wearing salwar Kurta , change your wardrobe.
    • For me the most confortable dress is Salwar kurta. You know that light cotton , loose kurta , a salwar and a  cotton dupatta. And people call me “You look like a journalist”. Ok so have all these journalist taken a copyright on this. I have always thought , that  comfort is what you should seek while buying clothes. ANd what else can be confortable  than an airy cotton loose kurta.
  • Sarees – Are you serious that too cotton sarees. You look Aunty in this.
    • I just wonder , Do they really know how graceful girls look in sarees. I just love sarees. unpinned palla of the sarees , starched sarees, oh they are just something.
  • All my bangles / dupattas were labled as “For Behanji”. Old timer etc etc.

I guess people have labelled me as Behanji types who is a homely girl and can’t have fun in a salwar kurta.

Following the list  – They got me some “as per them”  Sexyyy dresses or what they called one piece, a transparent Bra with the same, matching shoes , hanging earings.I was painted infact I was feeling like decorated – you know just like During diwali  our house is decorated with any kind of jhalar, the only thing required is it should be chamkeela. So I was decorated with some bright, chamkeela makeup, dark red lipstic . And my pics were uploaded on Facebook….

“Sexyyyyy ” , “Awsome” , etc etc my facebook was loaded with comments like this.

I was wondering – what has changed. the grey stuff is same. Everything is same. What has happened to the definition of sexy in the dictionary.

Does appearance matters so much. How can I look sexy in the skin which is not mine. How can I look Hawwt when I am not confirdent.

For me all these things like looking sexy / confident /sensuous comes from within. You just need to be yourself. everything else follows.

But -Seems things are not like this anymore. Whatever you are or you are not you need to be pretentious. You need to show people what they want to see , what not you are.

And it’s true- as per my observations – a greater percentage of man judge women by the way they look , as in what kind of clothes they are wearing. I know a girl – a big grown up girl – who at the age of 22 thinks that lemon when grows up turns in to Mausami and then when grows old turns in to an orange.  But you know she is a Pataka [As all guys call her] , eye candy for all guys. You remember “Roadies ” episode when a girl didn’t know even the capital of India. How dumb. But everybody who just saw her thought she was cool – coz she was wearing some tank top or a crop top and Hot pants. She must be modern….

Well – I know very well – I don’t want to be so cool if such is the definition of being cool in our world.
Being behanji in appearance really doesn’t matter but being a proud owner of brains is what I want.

Also I was wondering  how the nature of a person can be judged by  her clothes. I always prefer loose salwar kurta over jeans and one of my friend is always in jeans. I love sarees and even after married for more than 7 years she is not having a saree. But she is a great homemaker, a great cook. You won’t believe she makes all  spices at home. She manages house so well.

I remember once going to a bank  dressed in salwar kurta and asking for internet baking password from an Old age Officer. He saw me and said “Rehne do ,  internet ata jata hai nahi aa jate hai password maangne”. I wanted to tell him that  I have worked with an IT company to develop the software which you people are using it. But kept quiet, coz I knew that it’s of no use telling him. One day I will come in 1 piece and again ask him for password. :). These kind of things we girls often face in offices and our path is blocked by such  thinking and image of women.

One day we were waiting outside to be picked up by our colleugues for a team party and one of our friend was telling us about her little daughter. I was as usual again in salwar kurta , then this girl who was wearing a dress turned towards me and asked –

The girl :”You have a daughter ?”

I said : No,

The girl : You married ?

I: No [I  just said NO, though I was wondering if the order of questions she asked was right]

The girl : Then why you put Bindi ?

I was like … Ok I never knew that only married women can put Bindi.

Then one day  I was in saree- thousans of people complimented me and didn’t forget to ask me “Is it your marriage anniversary”.

I Think that working women face more judgements coz , housewife can put on anything.

well whatever it is – I am not gonna change/my comfort just to prove them Yes I am modern and wear a lot of makeup to show I am modern and not typical homely girl. Being independent also means breaking all such steretypes about women.

Why the hell should I wear all those 1 piece just to prove them I am ambitious [PS: I am not against 1 piece, just the stereotyping], or I am intelligent.

Well It’s my life , my rules…..

PS: pic courtesy : Internet : Unknown source : I just felt like adding this pic, it could be relevant or not.

“I’m breaking stereotypes based on appearance by sharing my experience for the #IAmCapable activity at BlogAdda in association with Nihar Naturals.”

a. 69% of men agree that their judgement of women is based on their looks.

b. 64% of women agree that the judgments passed on them have affected their ability to reach their true potential.

c. 70%of women agree that majority of judgments on women are from family members or friends rather than strangers.

d. 72% of women agree that working women face more judgments on their looks or their clothes than housewives.

nihar-naturals-statistics-women (1)


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