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What to do….

When I was a kid, I wasn’t exposed to so many things the way today’s generation is. Infact I learnt to switch on the computer in my postgraduation. Knew only few professions doctor, engineer, NDA , teaching and Government Jobs like IAS officer. But look at today’s 3 year old kiddo, he can play games , play music and what not. I met a boy studying in 6th class in local train and his dream was guess.. what ? To join NASA. I was like he is so small and how can he dream about being in NASA does he know what it is ? . But he was so well informed that nobody can stop him.

The little bit exposure in my time was TV doordarshan. If you are lucky , then you may have guidance from any successful man in your family. I grew up watching “He Man”,Captain Vyom, Aarohan , Sea Hawks,  . With every serial character one of my dream was attached.

I wanted to be a doctor who saves lives, I wanted to be an army officer , Navvy Officer and so on…I never could finalize what I actually want. So when the prime time came to take the decision , to choose a line , to choose a career, choose a subject in 11th class, I was confused. I asked my mother who is always there to clear my confusion.

I asked her , maa what subject should I choose, I kinda like Biology but drawing diagrams is difficult and I like Maths but I don’t understand probability. So what should I choose. What is the probability of my success in each of the engineer or medical lines. These were the only two lines apart from Government jobs and NDA in my time.

My mother that day didn’t help me choose subject but gave me advice which is with me till date. Her advice applied to all phases of life be it career or be it relationships. She said :-

Never fall for what is visible by your open eyes but close your eyes and then see. This way you will be able to see what your heart wants, what you want , what your soul wants. 

Always listen to your heart instincts and you can never be wrong. 

I listened to her silently that day and came back to my room, closed my eyes and listened to her again and again what she said few minutes ago. …..

Till date the decisions I have taken by closing my eyes are the best decisions of my life.

And this is true because you know what you want and you put all you heart , all the hard work in it. And in such situations success will not have any other option than to come to you.

 

Note :- “I am blogging about my dreams and the people who helped make them true for the #AdviceThatMattered activity at BlogAdda in association with Stoodnt.”

 

 

 

 

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Meri nanhi si bitiya

Wo nanhi si pari hatho mein mere jab ayi thi,

Aankhon se aasoon tapke the,jeevan mein khushiyaan laut ayi thi.

Mann kar  liya tha,apne har sapne ko bechkar uske sapne poore karoonga

Uski raho mein makhmali chadar bhichaoonga

Uske liye ye kroonga ,wo kroonga aisa sochta tha,

Uske liye kuch Karne nikloo kadi dhoop bhi chaon hai aisa sochta tha,

Zindagi aasaan to na thi,

Aur meri nanhi pari ne bhi koi shikayat na ki

Mera garv,mera samman meri aankhon ka Tara thi

Uski hasi meri hasi thi,

Uski khawaish poori karna meri zindagi thi

Per na jaane kahan kami reh gayi,

Kisi paraye ki wo itni apni ho gayi

Bhool gayi har wo baat,khak ho gaye har zazbaat.

Jitni khushi layi thi wo sab le gayi ,

Kisi paraye ki khatir  mujhe paraya kar gayi.

Meri chaand si bitiya na jaane kaise kajal ban gayi

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Life is a confusing reality

Getting up everyday in uncertainty ,
Sometimes doubt,sometimes hope on our ability.

Fearing what future holds for us,
Ignoring the beautiful nature around us.

Why we fear for the future ,
Why we cling on to which is not with us.

Drawing pictures of happiness in our mind,
Creating and yearning for situations of such kind.

Often for us,others define happiness,
Everything designed by others our space and the ambience.

Such a confusing reality,
Doubtful past,ignored present and future full of uncertainty.

Often I try to unriddle ,how to come out of this maze,
When will I live, and life will have me in her embrace.

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Barishon mein kabhi kabhi

Kabhi kabhi uljhano ko kone  mein chupa deti hoon,
Badlo se girti boondo ko khud mein sokh leti hoon,
Geeli mitti ki khusboo mujhe mehka jaati  hai,
Thandi hawa apne sang naram si garmahat laati hai,
Mein aankhen band kar leti hoon aur wahin khule aasman ke neeche baith jaati  hoon
Shayad koi sapna hai Jo bunne lagti  hoon 
Pair pani  mein, aasman mein taare dekhti hoon
Sagar ki lehro ki awaj,
Chand ki chandni,
Chadte sooraj ki roshni
Aur phoolo se bana  taaz
Door talak makhmali rang birangi chadar,
Aur satrangi rangoli aasman mein upar,
Kabhi sindoori rang se pani  rangta  dhalta sooraj
Kabhi lehro ke sang angdai leta  jaagta sooraj
Wo  chand aur taaro ki gupchup baatein
WO koel  ki kook, aur kahin jugnu jagmagate
Phir chehre per girti boonde  neend se jaga  deti hai,
Per Mann mein kuch himmat  de jaati  hai.
Har  haar se ladne ki
Har  mushkil ko aasan  karne ki
Har  uljhan ko suljhane ki
Har  aasoon  ko muskurane ki…….

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Aligarh….

To be true, I am really not clear what I am going to write in this post. This weekend , I saw movie called Aligarh [Hence the name of the post, coz many a times I could not think of the name]. This movie is based on real life incident.

This movie has got everything- Contoversies/Acting/Actors/Direction/Music [old songs of Lata Mangeshkar]. But still it left me depressed, perplexed.

Reason could be the sad end of the movie  or could be the way people treated Prof. Siras in this movie.

I still can’t understand, why people can’t mind their own business. Why politics is in everywhere. Why people try to make profit out of the other people life’s situation, emotion. Why people betray.

In the movie in one scene Late Professor Siras says something like this- I just hate the way people use the word “LOVE”. Why everybody is after this word,. try to understand this word.It’s such a beautiful word.

And I agree with him. People just take this word in a wrong way. Love is a feeling , an emotion, a belongingness, attachment between two souls. Love can never harm anybody. It only knows to give, to sacrifice, to buy pain for bringing a smile on other’s face.

It’s the HATRED, it’s GREED which is hamful.

But I have never seen any honor killing because two people hated each other. Have you ever seen anybody being killed because he was greedy, he took bribe. It’s always because two people love each other, they were killed.

One of the professor in the movie says = “Homosexuality practice karna haram mana jata hai”.

I can’t believe a professor is saying this.

I ask him = Entering anybody’s house is OK ??? if not then he should also be suspended.

Is lying OK ? . If not then he should also be punished

I think that nobody should interfere in other people life. Why we are concerned if the other person is following ABC rule or not. If he is not ,let him not,unless he is harming anybody. What are rules ?. Rules are made by us only but for our convenience , but if these rules are making life of our people difficult then what is the use of such rules.

I believe that everything is right, if you are not breaking anybody’s heart or if you are not giving any body pain.

Was Professor Siras harming anybody , I guess NO. Is anybody being given pain by Prof Siras, I guess NO. Then  WHY ALL THAT was done to him.

If his sexual preferences were different , but  they were given by GOD only. Should not we respect God’s decision ?.

If God has made few people different from us why we treat them diffrently.

In the end of the movie – It was mentioned that Homosexuality was criminalized again after this case at that time.

I don’t understand the reason. Why anything which is not harming anbody can be criminalized. If any such act that does not involve consent of the other can be termed as crime but not this.

It’s such a difficlut place to live. Seems as if everybody is wearing some mask and and hiding his real face.

PS; I used this blog as my vent for frustration, restlessness in me.

 

 

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Action….

Well, I am the also part of the group including mummies/aunt/dadi’s who everyday /without fail loves watching “Kyunki saas bhi kabhi Bahu thi” types serial. I know the all serials story/cast/what is going to happen/bindi styles of vamps/music played/title songs of serials…. I would love to call myself “SERIALPEDIA” if that word exists in dictionary. [If this word does not exist, please add. Serialpedia – Who loves watching serials]. And this love is not new, it’s very old, when I was a kid , I remember watching Ramayana when I was very small/ I  remember running back from school and first thing to do was Switch on the TV-  Swabhimaan and Shanti were  my favourites. [I am sure very few remember those serials]. My childhood was a dreamy childhood. I was always in dreams and courtesy : All serials like “Farmaan”, “Aarohan”, “Vyomkesh Bakshi”, “Captain Vyom” and so many other serials. I was in love with all the characters and had a huge crush on “Rajit kapoor aka Vyomkesh Bakshi” , Captain Vyom aka Milind Soman and Ajhar Nawab aka Kawanljit.My ambition used to change with every serial. I once wanted to become Vyomkesh bakshi, I wanted to be in Armed forces when I saw Aarohan, I wanted to be scientist when I saw Captain Vyom. But I never became anything of that sort , but my love for TV n has increased everyday and still it continues.

Oh! I forgot to tell Why I am writing this I was writing all this to set the context for one of the contest “WoW”, The topic was ‘If I Could Create A TV Show’ . This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

And who would miss a chance to express his/her feelings about her first love i.e. TV.  So If get a chance, I would love to make a  14-15 episodes series of short stories.

The stories would be from common man’s life, from our everyday’s life, our love life, gapshap @ chai, the vendor’s life in the local train, a waiter in the restaurant, their experiences. I would make the common man hero, I would tell their stories, their day to day experience…

Few story ideas are …..

Story of a woman I met in local train. – She  gives utensils in return of used clothes….

I forgot to ask her name, but what’s in name. She was waiting for Vadala train at Vile Parle station around 9:30. When I saw her first time, my eyes stopped at her ear lobe. they were full of rings. I asked her does it pained when you got your ears pierced. She said no, instead she wanted one more point on earlobe to be pierced. She  told me “Ghaslet ka tel lagane ka and phir wo jo dukhta hai nahi dukhega”.

She got married @ 12 , mother of a boy @ 13,she gave birth to 3 more daughters after that. All day she sells utensils, walks a lot, and loads a heavy bag of used clothes and utensils. Her son left studies after 10th and her daughters are very good. 1 is 18,  second daughter is 15 and youngest is 6 years old. She was smiling all the time while telling her story.She also told me that all theliwalas infact some showrooms also sell used clothes. That was little shocking.

She waved her hand with a smile and said milte hai kabhi phir se isi train mein….

Story of my maid

I remember her since my childhood. We used to live in a rented accommodation. It was big house with 3,4 rooms. We had 1 room and landlords had two rooms. She used to come with her mother who used to wash utensils at our’s and landlady’s place. We used to play a lot. Once I went to my grandmom’s place during  summer vacation. After a month or so, when  we returned , I asked for her. She never came back and I never got to know the reason.

After years we shifted to our own house, I got job  and moved out from my native place During Diwali break, I saw a new maid. She was very active, smiling all the time. She saw me and asked “Didi tum pehchani naa ?”. I really didn’t recognize her. She was the same little girl with whom I used to play. Now she was a mother of 3 children. But she was “Bala ki khoobsoorat”. She told me her husband is disabled , does not earn enough, and often beats her. I asked her, why she married him. What she told me was shocking.

When she was a child, her mother wanted to earn money by selling her childhood. But she was not ready, she was much more mature than her age. She refused, revolted and stopped coming with her mother. She controlled her mother by warning her ,that she will complain in Police. But she was still not safe. When this guy’s marriage proposal came, she accepted without any second thought. For her ,her safety was more important. She works now from morning 5 till late evening, cooks dinner for her husband, gets beaten up. She just tolerating all this for her safety and her children

I was in tears and she was smiling….[Or trying to smile to hide her pain.]

I would feature so many like stories, these are  unsung heroes…..Sorry not heroes but heroines. And definitely I  would feature some unsung heroes as well.

TRP I don’t care, but definitely it will touch millions of heart…

This is what I will direct …..

Camera – Lights – Action….

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I love being a “Behanji”

gender

Being single till date, never having been proposed by  somebody on whom I had a crush, worries everybody who loves me . My friends and family (especially my MOM) ae on a mission to find out the reasons why I am still single. Everybody who knows me well wonders Why I am still single even after being such a wonderful girl – Why nobody has yet not proposed me.

[PS: Even I think so I am very cool, a very good girl, pretty even after having average features, experimemtal, fun loving , trying , traveller, reader, writer , can make good tea/coffee, now  has improved a lot on her cooking skills😛. Seems as if I am increasing my matimonial biodata each day.😛 .But as matter of the fact, I am  happy being single, it’s just that people want me to see married. I don’t know what ladoo they will get, if I get married]

Anyways, so after so many debates,discussion all my friends compiled a list of reasons of my failure for not getting any marriage proposal. And a list of what I should do and what I should not do to get a good match. They gave my dressing sense rating 4 [Rating starts from 1 to 4 1 being the best]. My hair style rating 4. My footwears rating 4. So that means if i wear those skin hugging one piece , I am gonna get loads of proposal. I am still wondering how the clothes will change the person I am.

The list goes on like this.

N steps to get a marriage proposal 

  • Stop putting up Bindi , you look like married or Aunty.
    • My love for Bindi is well known. I love Bindi on forehead[I have wriiten forehead as if Bindi can be applied anywhere else also], and that big red color Bindi is what I many times want to use, but nobody let me do that. I still wonder . what’s wrong in Bindi. It looks so beautiful…
  • Stop wearing salwar Kurta , change your wardrobe.
    • For me the most confortable dress is Salwar kurta. You know that light cotton , loose kurta , a salwar and a  cotton dupatta. And people call me “You look like a journalist”. Ok so have all these journalist taken a copyright on this. I have always thought , that  comfort is what you should seek while buying clothes. ANd what else can be confortable  than an airy cotton loose kurta.
  • Sarees – Are you serious that too cotton sarees. You look Aunty in this.
    • I just wonder , Do they really know how graceful girls look in sarees. I just love sarees. unpinned palla of the sarees , starched sarees, oh they are just something.
  • All my bangles / dupattas were labled as “For Behanji”. Old timer etc etc.

I guess people have labelled me as Behanji types who is a homely girl and can’t have fun in a salwar kurta.

Following the list  – They got me some “as per them”  Sexyyy dresses or what they called one piece, a transparent Bra with the same, matching shoes , hanging earings.I was painted infact I was feeling like decorated – you know just like During diwali  our house is decorated with any kind of jhalar, the only thing required is it should be chamkeela. So I was decorated with some bright, chamkeela makeup, dark red lipstic . And my pics were uploaded on Facebook….

“Sexyyyyy ” , “Awsome” , etc etc my facebook was loaded with comments like this.

I was wondering – what has changed. the grey stuff is same. Everything is same. What has happened to the definition of sexy in the dictionary.

Does appearance matters so much. How can I look sexy in the skin which is not mine. How can I look Hawwt when I am not confirdent.

For me all these things like looking sexy / confident /sensuous comes from within. You just need to be yourself. everything else follows.

But -Seems things are not like this anymore. Whatever you are or you are not you need to be pretentious. You need to show people what they want to see , what not you are.

And it’s true- as per my observations – a greater percentage of man judge women by the way they look , as in what kind of clothes they are wearing. I know a girl – a big grown up girl – who at the age of 22 thinks that lemon when grows up turns in to Mausami and then when grows old turns in to an orange.  But you know she is a Pataka [As all guys call her] , eye candy for all guys. You remember “Roadies ” episode when a girl didn’t know even the capital of India. How dumb. But everybody who just saw her thought she was cool – coz she was wearing some tank top or a crop top and Hot pants. She must be modern….

Well – I know very well – I don’t want to be so cool if such is the definition of being cool in our world.
Being behanji in appearance really doesn’t matter but being a proud owner of brains is what I want.

Also I was wondering  how the nature of a person can be judged by  her clothes. I always prefer loose salwar kurta over jeans and one of my friend is always in jeans. I love sarees and even after married for more than 7 years she is not having a saree. But she is a great homemaker, a great cook. You won’t believe she makes all  spices at home. She manages house so well.

I remember once going to a bank  dressed in salwar kurta and asking for internet baking password from an Old age Officer. He saw me and said “Rehne do ,  internet ata jata hai nahi aa jate hai password maangne”. I wanted to tell him that  I have worked with an IT company to develop the software which you people are using it. But kept quiet, coz I knew that it’s of no use telling him. One day I will come in 1 piece and again ask him for password.🙂. These kind of things we girls often face in offices and our path is blocked by such  thinking and image of women.

One day we were waiting outside to be picked up by our colleugues for a team party and one of our friend was telling us about her little daughter. I was as usual again in salwar kurta , then this girl who was wearing a dress turned towards me and asked –

The girl :”You have a daughter ?”

I said : No,

The girl : You married ?

I: No [I  just said NO, though I was wondering if the order of questions she asked was right]

The girl : Then why you put Bindi ?

I was like … Ok I never knew that only married women can put Bindi.

Then one day  I was in saree- thousans of people complimented me and didn’t forget to ask me “Is it your marriage anniversary”.

I Think that working women face more judgements coz , housewife can put on anything.

well whatever it is – I am not gonna change/my comfort just to prove them Yes I am modern and wear a lot of makeup to show I am modern and not typical homely girl. Being independent also means breaking all such steretypes about women.

Why the hell should I wear all those 1 piece just to prove them I am ambitious [PS: I am not against 1 piece, just the stereotyping], or I am intelligent.

Well It’s my life , my rules…..

PS: pic courtesy : Internet : Unknown source : I just felt like adding this pic, it could be relevant or not.

“I’m breaking stereotypes based on appearance by sharing my experience for the #IAmCapable activity at BlogAdda in association with Nihar Naturals.”

a. 69% of men agree that their judgement of women is based on their looks.

b. 64% of women agree that the judgments passed on them have affected their ability to reach their true potential.

c. 70%of women agree that majority of judgments on women are from family members or friends rather than strangers.

d. 72% of women agree that working women face more judgments on their looks or their clothes than housewives.

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