My incomplete story………. #IncompleteStory

I hope you all remember me,  I was in newspaper, on TV, in parliament,  on FB and what not. A dreadful night made me famous all over the world. Thousands of people took to roads to support me, while few blamed and made derogatory remarks. All thanks to few picks from the species of Homo sapiens who are devoid of a heart full of love and kindness. They knew only one thing – lust. They were devils in the form of human beings. Cruelty was in their blood. I hate them. They ruined my life, they killed me.

You will still find me sometimes in newspaper, news, or in a post shared on some social media. I came to know that they claim they are not guilty, they say it was my fault and I should have allowed them to tear my clothes and let them rob me of my dignity.

My body was burnt to ashes, but my soul did not set free. I am still waiting for the day when I could see them hanging till death. I was feeling restless and perturbed and then I came across this # IncompleteStory on this forum. So I just thought of sharing my story with you all.

My incomplete story

You never know what life has in store for you. But a hope is alive all the time that “This too shall Pass”. This was our story too. Whether food was served on our plate or not but hope was, always. We all worked hard to make both the ends meet. During this time, amidst financial crunches, despite so many problems, a dream was born, a dream to help others, to take up a noble profession, to become a doctor, to help the needy, to help my family financially. It was just a sapling, but my family watered it everyday, they offered their food to the roots of that sapling so that it could turn it into a strong tree. My parents sold their ancestral land to provide funding for my education. After toiling for so many years, burning the midnight oil, that sapling grew in to a tree. We all were happy and waiting for the tree to bear fruits. Even with empty stomachs we were able to smile, that hope kept our smile intact.

I was on cloud nine. Finally my dream was about to come true. I was moving ahead without knowing what was in store for me on the next turn. I was unaware that a storm awaited, to uproot the tree we watered for years.

That black day, I got in to the Bus with my friend after watching a movie. I didn’t know that I am closing doors to a beautiful life by stepping into it. They were demons, beasts in the disguise of human beings. They started the “Tandav” to destroy my life and no Shiva, no Krishna came to my rescue. I shouted for help, I begged for help but all in vain. My pleas for mercy were falling on deaf ears. They came near me, their eyes widened with lust. I was afraid, scared to death, dying of pain. I was worried about my friend, whom they had hit with a rod. I closed my eyes and with maximum energy that I could gather in that state, I resisted them. But I failed to save my dream. One by one they raped me, robbed me. One by one they gave me pain, unbearable pain, a pain that can’t be described in words. They tore my clothes, inserted rod in to my vagina. They took away everything from me. I lost consciousness.

When I opened my eyes, I found myself lying on a road  in torn clothes and my friend was running here and there for help but nobody helped us.

When I was in hospital, I heard somebody saying that I should not have resisted and should have given them what they wanted. I also heard somebody saying it was all my fault, why I took public transport and many other things. It hurt me even more. I saw many people gathering at places and raising voices to get justice for me. I wanted to thank them, but I could not, I died after few days.

Those devils were arrested after the public uproar but they are still alive. I want them to be hanged till death. They not only killed me but my parents and their dreams.

This was my incomplete story and my story will be complete only when those criminals will be punished, only when all girls will be safe, when everybody will help a girl in distress, when everybody will respect a girl and her dreams.

I wanted to live, to tell people I was not wrong to fight to save my dignity. No rule, no religion can say that I was wrong.

I wanted to live, to tell people who objected at me being out at 9 that it was not me who was wrong. Those devils who did this were wrong.

I wanted to live, to request people to raise voice against any injustice done to harm the dignity of a woman. I want those criminals to be punished

I have left pen and paper with you people to complete my story. I am the same Damini, I am the same Nirbhaya who was smiling sometime back, who decided to devote her life for mankind but those devils raped me brutally and killed me. I hope you people can make me alive again, through your pen. I am sure you people can complete my story.

Changing names – big deal ?

When I get a chance to put my point of view about any such debatable topic , few questions comes to my mind and based on that my side of whether in favour or  against or neutral is decided.

Well changing maiden names(in some areas ) or maiden surnames  is also one of such topics and this reminds me of  a song ” Naam gum jayega, chehra ye badal jayega,teri awaj hi pehchan hai , gar yaad rahe”.

I really don’t mind changing my  name or surname after marriage ,if the  traditions in my in laws family asks me to do so . When I am following all other traditions , leaving my parents to be with my husband and his family , sindoor , tikka , bindi , everything I am following , what’s in name.

Ours parents and in-laws are from a generation where such traditions still matters , though they are trying to change with the times ,but we cannot expect  them to be like us in seconds ,  so for their happiness change your name , don’t force it on your next generation , yes you can definitely put up your point in front of them , but don’t make this an ego issue . It’s not a big deal. All that matters is love  and care for each other emotions, sacrificing what was not at all important.

Remember that Idea add , when people fight on names , they instead of using names use number as their identity. Name is not you , it’s just a noun. My identity is not with my name ,it is about my work , my personality , my talent , my individuality.

The only problem that I see in changing names is getting it changed in all documents , that’s it , though it is one of the biggest problem that you will have to face ,especially when you to get it done in Indian system.  We can discuss this at homes.

Note – Completely my point-of-view, And trust me these things really don’t matter, what will matter is how much love is filled in their heart when they will call you by your name or new name or new maiden surname.

Penned down with a hope

Ladies Purse ………. Women Day special

Well my last blog was about being organized, how can we ,by being little more organized save us a lot of time and make our life easier . But frankly how hard I try , there’s one thing in my life that can’t be organized and that is “MY PURSE”. And all of you reading my blog will agree to this. A woman’s purse has always been a mystery for Men. She can keep the whole world in her purse. Well on the eve of Women Day I decided to organize my purse and planned to note down all things kept in my purse and remove them or keep them based on their usage. Below mentioned was the list and I could not think of anything to remove  from my purse , so the result of this “organize purse ” mission was again a purse full of stuff and to find anything from that you have to take out everything 🙂

List of things found in Purse

1. Old chocolate wrappers 🙂 .(How old . even I don’t know)
2. Pen,pencil,eraser,sharpener
3. A notepad
4. A personal diary
5. A novel
6. So many ATM receipts
7. Face cream,Sunscreen,Moisturizer,Hand sanitizer
8. lip gloss , lip balm
9. Kohl,Eye liner
10. Comb
11. Mirror a small one.
12. Shopping bill
13. Coins
14. Emergency Kit
15. Facial wipes, face wash ,cotton
16. Charger,Data cable,Phone
17. Scarf and stole
18. Lunch box or anything to eat
19. Shades
20. keys [locker  , house , and you never get your keys , you have to take out all stuff to find the keys].
21. Tissue paper.
22. In wallet :- so many cards , photos , id’s etc
23. Umbrella

Your purse is just like my  purse ??  Let me know your views on this

My organized side …..

Note: – As people who read my posts , must be aware that I just kinda vomit down all my thoughts ,without thinking that does it makes sense or not ,but you know as it you feels relaxed,clean from inside ,exactly that happens with me after writing. So whatever I write you might find it kinda awkward , coz I don’t even know at times the source of the thought or the idea, but for sure would like to share with you and your expert views on this :).

Actually this thought came in to my mind one of the Sunday’s. well when I woke up that day , I smiled and thought wow what a morning , no bhag daud,why I can’t  have such a day everyday.I have observed that everyone’s idea of a perfect Sunday or a holiday is somewhat like this.

• No early mornings
• Bed tea
• Newspaper
• A movie or shopping
• Outing
• Time with family
• Self care [Hair Oiling , parlour etc]
• Preparing for next week [Like Ironing clothes, washing ,buying vegetables for next week, grocery shopping]
• Work pending for whole week like Bill payment etc
• Catching up with a novel

But this needs time and who has time from daily routine jobs during week , in fact even Sundays and Saturdays are not relaxing. They take your life in completing pending works.

I was wondering why can’t we have a relaxed day everyday at home  , why can’t we have a morning tea and newspaper time for us and for our family everyday , why can’t we spend family time everyday. Why we can’t have a relaxed bath,why we can’t have a peaceful sleep everyday , Why we wait for  saturday and sunday for a good life and then spend those two days in finishing the pending work.

I am not sure ,but I thought of few points , that took a little more managing and can save us a lot of time to slumber around , for an outing , for us. That would definitely required to leave our laziness or for us to be more active. There are few of the points I could thought of and I am trying on these points and they are definitely helping me out.

We can do multitasking and plan so:-

• There are many times when we just wait for milk to boil, or tea water to boil,why not wash one fridge tray during that time,second tray next day , this will save whole of our 2-3 hours that we spent on fridge cleaning on a weekend. [I have done this :)]. I also clean my kitchen jars like this. Not at one go , but sometimes one or two. This helps me in keeping my kitchen clean without wasting whole day.
• When we brush our teeth in the night , juts collect clothes and set time for morning in the washing machine. These days all washing machines allow you to set time. By the time you will wake up ,your clothes will be washed and you will not have to wait for weekend.
• Keep things as vermicille , or oats roasted in a box so that you can prepare breakfast in few minutes , and for roasting them you will not have to wait for  a weekend, this can be done while you are making chapati or sabji and your one burner is free.
• Cleaning of wash basins, you don’t have to wait for a maid for that, just keep a scrub and after you done with brushing your teeth in the morning , scrub it,it will hardly take 5 minutes of yours.
• During cooking, we should follow a certain order, which will save our gas as well as our time. Like for making chapati’s it is better we should keep raw chapati ready flat and round before we put them on Tava.
• Keep a sticky notepad in kitchen and keep writing  things on notepad which you have to buy.
• Online order of grocery would save you a lot of  time and would be little cheaper.
• For personal care, you can use  the time when you are in kitchen. Like while chopping tomatoes ,apply a  slice  on your face as well. Just before you enter kitchen , apply besan and curd paste on your face. These will keep your face radiant and you might not need go to parlour at least for a cleanup.
• When you are back from office , you can use 5-10 min for Yoga ,while your vegetable is on stove.
• Keep things clothes, bag etc ready for next day that will save your time ,which you can use in having a relaxed breakfast with your family.

These are small tips to save my saturday and sunday. Any tips of your’s is most welcome, you can add in the comment section below.

A Style of my own

“A Style of my own” a blogging contest by  Trishla emart . I have always admired the posts by women web. They have always been inspiring,motivating, a guide to all the women,how to handle the situations at home, how to manage work and home at the same time.The stories based on a theme always have been touching. But this time the title “A style of my own” made me think what is my style?. Is there a style of my own or have I been following somebody. Most of the time and with most of us, we follow somebody our ideal, all the fashion trends are like that and we buy fashion magazines just to check what is in.We follow our ideals,what they do ,we do . This reminded me of a movie ” Runaway Bride “. The girl in the movie doesn’t know what she loves,she thinks that what her loves loves she loves that,We do what others want us do , we wear what other want us to wear. My friend said once,we should wear clother of other’s people choices  and this is general trend in everything ,what we do ,what we think, the books we read,what we think,our thoughts are also affected by Facebook posts.In all this we have lost the true us.But this post made me think ,”what is my style”. “What I love”. So here’s what I found after cleaning the storeroom inside me. I loved full sleeves cotton kurta with a cotton churidar a jhola. Another love of mine is saree just like that without any safety pin :). A smile on my face is another accessory I love to wear. I would term this a simple and sutle ,a cup of tea and a book is my style.